Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize