I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize