apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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