PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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