Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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