Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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