forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize