You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
