Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize