I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize