new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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