remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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