whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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