she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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