Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you still have your period?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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