a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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