Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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