Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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