Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
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