omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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