do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize