She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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