the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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