i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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