I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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