ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize