im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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