I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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