Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
MIDGETS
????
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize