..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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