Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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