..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize