So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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