I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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