Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
