Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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