i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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