Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
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woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
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I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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