is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize