I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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