Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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