I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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