please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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