pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
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She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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