you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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