My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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