Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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