Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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