I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize