Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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